Tony Parker: Picky Rings

Tony Parker is a teddy bear with a French twist.

He’s got big shiny rings on his little soft mitts.

But take a close look at those friendly hands,

And you’ll notice he’s lacking a wedding band.

So even though Tony truly loves rings,

He picks and chooses through devilish schemes.

Considering the woman he cheated on, the woman he cheated with, and the ex-teammate he disrespected… it’s a wonder Tony Parker hasn’t been blackballed from the role model fraternity. If I worked for TMZ, I’d still be riding this story like a dog on a horse.

And while his devious underworld has been largely repressed, he’s busy tripping the 38-year-old Steve Nash while begging for mercy:

I love watching Parker play basketball; he’s been in the MVP discussion since the outset of the season (granted, not a true front-runner). But, like any candidate going for office, one’s character usually comes into play. For the sake of the LeBron James Diatribe Relief Group, it’s worth refreshing our collective memory as to others’ cheating ways.

Tony Parker Slimeball

Tony Parker should consider a career in PR because there are few disasters this man can’t make us forget.

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